Sunday, February 06, 2005

Apartment Hunting - Week Two

The apartment hunt continues. The other day, I went down to Park Slope (in Brooklyn for those non-NYC types out there) only to have this surreal conversation on my cell phone.

Me: Hi. This is Joe. I'm standing outside of your apartment building but you aren't answering the door.

Him: Oh. I'm not home.

Me: But we had an appointment. I called earlier to confirm with you.

Him: Yes, we did, but I didn't think you'd show up. You sound like a guy who called last week but didn't come when he said he would. I thought you were the same guy using a different name.

Me: Did he have the same phone number? I gave you both my work and cell phone numbers.

Him: No, but people use different phone numbers all of the time.

Now a normal person would have just hung up and cut his losses, but I'd already made the trip and so I decided to press on just a little bit more.

Me: Okay. Anyway, I'm not him. I'm me and I'm here. Are you nearby?

Him: No. Here's the thing. I made other plans tonight, so you'll need to come back. I don't want you to waste the trip, so why don't you look around the neighborhood while you're there and come by tomorrow morning or something? I should be home, but call first because I can't guarantee that I will be.

Me: Fuck off

Granted, it wasn't the most witty rejoinder in the world, but give me a break, I was a little stressed.

Fortunately, I did have another appointment in roughly the same neighborhood, so I walked over there. The ad said that it was a large one-bedroom apartment sublet with plenty of closet space. Of course, it wasn't. This lead to my second stupid conversation of the day.

"Well, as you can see, it's a large studio so you can get a screen like the one I have to partition the place off and make a one bedroom," she said. "Okay. What about the closet space?" I asked. "I only see one closet, and it looks a little small." "Oh," she replied, "I can sell you that armoire if you'd like. Its really big and I use it as another closet." After thinking for a second, I said "So what you are saying is that it's a one bedroom with lots of closet space as long as I bring my own wall and closet?" She smiled and said "Wow, I guess I never thought of it that way, but yeah. So do you want it?"

People suck.