Thursday, March 03, 2005

Catching Up on Pop Culture

I really need to brush up on pop culture so as to avoid any more embarrasing faux pas like not seeing the Burger King commercial until it was on for months, so tonight I decided to take Lisa and Pirate's advice about watching more TV. It paid immediate dividends in the form of Anaabella Sciorra's appearance on "Law and Order: Trail by Jury." I've had a crush on her for about 15 years and so, needless to say, I was glued to the set for the entire episode. Between her and Halle Berry, who has a movie showing on Sunday night, I can see how this whole TV thing might catch on.

While recovering from that unexpected pleasure, I watched Pirates of the Carribean for roughly the 20th time. For some reason, I just can't get enough of watching Johnny Depp's acting in this film. Something about the movie never sat right with me, though, and last night it finally hit me. Stick with me for a minute on this one.

If the crew of the Black Pearl was cursed until they returned the stolen coins to the chest, how did they kill Will's father, who was a crew member when they stole the treasure? Yes, I know they strapped him to a cannon and sent him to the bottom of the sea, but it strikes me that he would have lived because he, like the rest of the crew, couldn't die until the curse was lifted. Its not like he was going to drown, either. After all, later in the movie the pirates were able to walk under water to attack the British ship.

So for the rest of the movie, I sat there picturing Bootstrap Bill chained to a cannon at the bottom of the sea, biding his time until the chains rusted enough for him to be released, only to either drown or be crushed to death by hydrostatic pressure when the curse was lifted.

See? This is exactly why I don't watch TV.