Friday, August 26, 2005

The Week in Pictures XII

In our top story, French authorities are hunting for the Mona Lisa after she made a daring daylight escape from the Louvre by hiding behind a copy of the DaVinci Code.

President Bush showed he's serious about education reform by using his vacation to go to summer school in order to complete the second grade. He received mostly C's on his report card, which was good enough for promotion to third grade with the rest of his class.

In Seattle, participants at the annual Hempfest gathering - including this 19-year-old woman - disputed recent reports that marijuana usage may cause premature aging.

The crew of a tall ship who lost their sails in a poker game with a group of fishermen in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean were able to successfully pilot themselves to shore by unbuttoning their shirts and standing on the yardarms.

After centuries of survival of the fittest, marine biologists now report that some fish have adapted by hiring bodyguards to protect them from predators.

A young worshipper was seriously injured during Catholic World Youth Day gathering in Belgium when a nun landed on him after stage diving into the crowd.

An 85-year-old man and his 82-year-old girlfriend emerged from a hedgerow labyrinth in Berlin after being lost for over sixty years. They claim to have survived on leftovers given to them by a Minotaur they befriended during their ordeal.

Genghis Khan, thought to have died in 1207, emerged from an underwater fortress in which he'd been vacationing for nearly eight centuries. The well-rested Mongolian ruler is said to be disappointed with the work of his descendants and reportedly plans to embark on a quest to re-conquer his empire.

Bonsai cultivators in Kuala Lumpur have developed a 'water jasmine' variety of the plant that measures 22 mm, which they say is approximately the same size as my peni....Hey! How did they know that?!?!

As rabbit hunting season kicks off, Bugs Bunny has once again turned to cross-dressing in order to fool the gullible, yet persistent Elmer Fudd.

In business news, announced this week that they've purchased a flotilla of canoes in an effort to expand their delivery service to include cruise ships and other watercraft.

Comedian Roseanne Barr will appear on the reality show Miami Ink this week in an episode in which she has a tattoo of ex-husband Tom Arnold's face altered to become that of famed revolutionary Maverick (a.k.a. Trevor) Record.

This week's gratuitous picture: Mary Kate Olsen

In sports, a group of spectators were accidentally crushed when eighty-seven foot tall ski jumper Primoz Pikl of Slovakia fell face first during his landing at the FIS Summer World Cup in Courchevel, French Alps.

Columbia pole vaulter David Rojas set a new world record by clearing the bar at 35,000 feet. Unfortunately, he was struck by a passing jetliner on his way down and was last seen heading in the general direction of Ireland.

Upset by an ongoing dispute over a digital camera that broke just one day after the warranty expired, a goaltender for the NHL's Los Angeles Kings has chosen to forgo putting his own name on his jersey, opting instead to express his anger towards the company that made the camera.


Playoffs start this week at 10 a.m. at Kennedy Park in Hempstead. I fully expect to see all of you there this time...and that means you, too, Braleigh.