Friday, October 07, 2005

The Week in Pictures XVIII

I awoke this morning to news of terrorist threats to the NYC subway system. Now, as I type this, the police have closed off 3rd Avenue and several side streets near my building and are moving all pedestrian traffic out of the area. As I watched the activity outside my office window, a black SUV with tinted windows came roaring the wrong way down 52nd street before screeching to a halt at the corner. The doors flew open -- and out walked two pot bellied guys in khaki's sipping cups of coffee. It's always good to know that NYC's finest are on the job.

This all just goes to show that you just never know which one of these could be the last Week in Pictures. That means there's hope for those of that keep asking me to stop writing.

Now on to the Week in Pictures.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are back in the news after announcing that Holmes is pregnant. Of course, I blame this all on Hammy as the couple was perfectly content to stay quiet until he mentioned them last week.

In conjunction with the news, the Church of Scientology announced that their gift shops will begin selling models of the fetus.

The Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU) has rated Vancouver as the world's most livable city. A spokesman said that this decision was based largely on the fact that the city is home to both Trevor and Braleigh.

Real estate and gambling kingpin Donald Trump is joining forces with top United Arab Emirates developer Nakheel to build a phallic hotel on a man-made island in Dubai. The structure will be 50 stories tall when flaccid and 135 stories tall when fully erect.

Alternate caption:
Real estate and gambling kingpin Donald Trump is joining forces with top United Arab Emirates developer Nakheel to build a yonic shaped hotel on a man-made island in Dubai. In a nod to safety, guests won't be allowed inside unless they're wearing a condom.

Superman and his newest evil nemisis "Really Tall Guy in a Kimono" met in London this week to publicize their upcoming battle.

A speech by President Bush was abruptly cut short when he got a case of the giggles after noticing the words "Left Behind" scrawled on the wall in back of him.

Soaring gas costs have forced landscapers to seek new and more efficient ways to manicure the lawns and bushes of their wealthy clients.

In an effort to fight slumping sales, the Honda Motor Corporation announced that their 2006 models will include both front and rear puppies as standard equipment.

As if we needed any more reasons to talk like a pirate.

The state of Florida has passed a new law aimed specifically at convincing famed gunslinger (and quickest quickdraw in the world) Latigo Flint to relocate to the state.

A Ferris wheel went out spinning wildly out of control during Oktoberfest celebrations in Munich. Fortunately, the occupants were so drunk, they failed to notice that anything was amiss.

The FBI released these photographs of Godfrey Von Wilkerson, the bank robber and master of disguise currently listed as public enemy number one.

Gratuitous picture of Melissa George

Driven into a frenzy watching Jennifer Garner make the rounds of the talk show circuit, a furious Jennifer Lopez stormed a group of paparazzi and demanded that they take her picture.

The song of the week is Jimmy Eat World's "When I Want" (see sidebar)

Kitchen Confidential author and celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain's latest culinary creation, "Stuffed Tabby," is taking Manhattan by storm.

Scientists studying the mating patterns of male butterflies have established that the creatures are much more well endowed than originally thought.

A teenager from the hit movie "The Blair Witch Project" emerged from the woods this weekend. When questioned by authorities he admitted that there was no witch and that they were just terrified little sissies with a horrible sense of direction.

A man in Amsterdam was hospitalized and nearly died after he looked down and impaled himself in the chest with his own beard.

And finally, opening arguments wrapped up for the defendants in the canine brothel case with the defendant's attorney calling the charges "politically motivated" and based on the fact that his clients "know where the bones are buried."