Friday, November 11, 2005

The Week in Pictures XXIII

The Dali Lama moved a step closer to answering an ancient question after successfully determining the sound of two hands clapping.

In the hopes of encouraging more people to visit his home, eleven and a half foot tall giant Max Headroom has installed a 'people door' in his front entrance. "This will allow those cute little fellas to come and go as they please" he said.

Prince Charles took his wife Camilla visited the Old Western Saloon where he vowed to "drink her pretty." His plan backfired, though, when the drunked Prince tried to convince a dog in the doorway to come back to the hotel for a threesome.

Later, the homesick Prince went to see Beach Blanket Bablyon where he repeatedly referred to the lead actress, Val Diamond, as "Mummy."

Venicain authorities patrolling St. Marc Square found a baby that had apparently been abandoned at birth and had been raised by pigeons ever since.

The makers of Trojan brand condoms claim to have recently developed method of birth control that is 100% reliable.

In light of high gas prices and lower SUV sales, General Motors has retooled several of it's Hummer plants to allow them to produce shopping carts.

Gratuitous picture of Jessica Beil

Several Victoria's Secret models are suing the company saying that the angel's wings they're forced to have surgically implanted prevent them from getting other work and even from dressing properly.

Attendees at the Victoria's Secret fashion show were slow to recognize Ricky Martin, not because the singer had changed at all, but because they'd never see him with women before.

Later, he stormed out after seeing Naomi Campbell appear on stage with a trumpet. "I can't believe they didn't ask me to do that." he said. "If there's one expert in blowing around here, it's me."

Meanwhile, outside of the show, PETA activists staged a protest against what they called "The senseless slaughter of muppets just so the models can wear their fur."

Our song of the week is Coln Hay's "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" (see sidebar)

Authorities in Florida have released this image of a brown reculse spider that has been terrorizing the Daytona Beach area.

Our "Get Well and Don't Kill your Boss" video of the week was "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional.

Right wing conservatives are calling for the Washington Monument to be covered with a sheet, after realizing that it resembles a giant penis.

Faced with overpopulation and a near non-existent defense budget, Egyptian officials are experimenting with a revolutionary human catapult missle system.
The animal kingdom is in an uproar after a male dog and female cat married this week. Critics say the cat is truly in love, while the dog just wants some pussy.

Berlin's Olympic Stadium is finally undergoing a much needed refurbishing. Among other things, workers will build it the proper scale, which will allow people to stand up straight while watching events.

And finally, Tyra Banks had a breakdown after catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror during the aforementioned Victoria's Secret show and deciding that she was much heavier than the other models.

Rather than going on a crash diet as many expected, Banks has apparently gone on an eating binge resulting in a 200 pound weight gain in the past four days alone.