Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Week in Pictures XXX

Last evening was spent at my usual Thursday night haunt, Mr. Dennehys - a place that's quickly become by favorite bar ever. As I stood at the bar drinking a Guiness, I decided to take what I now refer to as the "Trevor approach"- which consists casting numerous sheepish glances at a woman in the hopes that she'll talk to me - with the cute waitress that I noticed last week. Unfortunately, it only succeeded in her approaching my friend and me to see if we needed menus.

Shortly thereafter, I headed home and settled in with the copy of the PostSecret book I'd purchased earlier in the day. Now, I don't know about you, but I always have mixed emotions when I go to the PostSecret site. On the one hand, its comforting to know that everyone has secrets and interesting to see that some folks out there have been through some of the same experiences I have. On the other hand, some of the things people share are troubling at best and often quite depressing. As I flipped through the pages, it dawned on me that the range of emotions that I felt were probably intentional. After all, good art is supposed to provoke a reaction and change us in small but profound and lasting ways.

About halfway through the book, it began to feel too much like vouyerism. I recognize that the people who sent the postcards done so of their own volition, but it just didn't feel right to intrude on their privacy and longer. So I put the book down, picked up my binoculars, and spent the remainder of the evening looking into my neighbor's bedroom window in the hopes of catching her naked.
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Anyway, it's time for the Week in Pictures XXX. In honor of the whole "XXX" thing, I'd planned to post pictures of myself in various poses and states of undress. Unfortunately (or fortunately for you) my camera shut down when I tried to take the first picture and refused to work again until I signed an agreement to remain fully clothed at all times when engaged in picture taking.

As a result, you're left with nothing more than my usual pedestrian attempts at humor.


Hundreds of supporters at a Republican rally in Texas cheered wildly as President Bush correctly responded to the question "Where is your head?"


Later that day, President Bush was joined Louisiana Lt. Gov. Mitch Landrieu and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin for the unveiling of his Presidential portrait.


Meanwhile, over at Capital Hill, the Senate passed a resolution forcing Diane Feinstein to keep her face covered at all times while they're in session.


After weeks of being battered by the press corps for the administration's handling of the war in Iraq, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has taken to performing magic tricks at the podium in an attempt to distract reporters.

Alternate caption suggested by HDD:
During the briefing, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld tried to deflect reporters questions about Iraq by pretending to grope the breasts of an imaginary woman.


Scientists at the National Taiwan University have successfully bred three pigs which glow fluorescent green in the dark, marking a breakthrough for midnight snackers trying to locate items such as ham and bacon.


Organizers held the weigh in for this weekend's middleweight animal boxing title fight which pits the lightning quick tongue jabs of Kermit D'Frog.


Against the brilliant defensive style of Turtle Soup.


A group of black bears in China have opened the world's first People Zoo.


Over in Turkey, members of the country's elite "Snow Ninja" corps demonstrated their skills by sneaking up on a flock of ducks.


If you'll excuse me for a minute, I have to go kick Mr. Blackwell's ass for putting Shakira on his 2005 Worst Dressed list. Please feel free to watch the video of the week while I'm gone.




Okay, I'm back. Expect to see him release a revised list later today.


This afternoon's weather forecast calls for sudden and extremely localized downpours that are expected to completely soak 2-3 pedestrians.


I wish I knew how to quit you, Joan Rivers!


John Cleese was at Sotheby's this week to pick up a nose hair trimmer he purchased at an auction on the late Fred Flinstone's possessions.


Researchers at NASA were shocked when a photograph taken from an x-ray camera on the Hubble Telescope showed that earth's rotation is actually caused by a giant, sad clown walking around on the inside of the planet.


Germany's Kati Wilhelm had to flee for her life after leaving the biathlon course to steal a golden idol head from a hidden temple, then setting loose a giant boulder as she tried to escape the structure.


Organizers at the upcoming Winter Olympics in Turin are redesigning the ski jump after several participants were injured sliding straight down the original ramp.


The World Sumo Wresting Championships were delayed after one of the contestants got stuck in the bedpan he was using to relieve himself before the match.


And finally, we'd like to apologize to George Lucas and his daughter Amanda for incorrectly identifying this image as the year 2010 version of what Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky would have looked like had they stayed together.