Friday, February 03, 2006

The Week in Pictures XXXIII

I ran into a friend of mine on the subway platform last night and so we went out for a quick cup of coffee to catch up. Turns out that she's having some issues at home and so much of the conversation consisted of me listening to her complain about her husband. Granted, I was pretty exhausted (blogging and IMing all day is hard work), but I kept catching myself thinking that if I wanted to hear a woman complain about her husband all night, I would never have gotten divorced.

Anyway, now that I've reached the end of what I like to call "the longest and most hell ridden week in recent memory", I can begin to look forward to what should be a fun-filled weekend -- unless the Seahawks lose, of course.

Even as I type, preparations are already underway for the massive Super Bowl XL (so named because only an extra large Super Bowl could contain the glory of my Seattle Seahawks) party at my place. Local restaurants are busy placing the final touches on the furniture made entirely out of buffalo wings (including cup holders filled with blue cheese dressing and celery sticks) that will be placed upon raised platforms amidst the salsa that being pumped by the gallon directly onto my living room floor by several tanker trucks. Nacho boats will float majestically across the Salsa Sea until they are plucked and devoured by the drunken hordes wading through the room. Meanwhile, the kitchen has been covered in dry ice and filled with kegs ready to be tapped at game time, allowing ice cold beer - the elixir of life - to flow through hoses ingenuously run across the ceiling and dropped down so that they're only an arm's length away at all times.

Good times, my friends. Good times indeed. In fact, it really doesn't even matter who wins the game. As long as it's the Seahawks, of course.

Anyway, as I promised a few weeks back, y u're all invit d to the pa ty. Th addre s is...

Da mit. I th k my ke bo rd is run i g out of ink. I'l b ri ht ba k...

Earlier this week, President Bush gave his State of the Union address, which pretty much went like this: "I just want to tell the American people that I'm in way over my head here. I honestly have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Thank you and good night."

The President later credited his speechwriters for their simple, elegant, and forthright prose.

Meanwhile, there was renewed sympathy and understanding for former President Clinton's infidelities after his wife, Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) displayed her "orgasm face" during a post speech discussion on sexual technique.

As part of yesterday's Groundhog Day festivities, the famed "Punxsutawney Phil" received his annual prostate exam.

As did the Pandas at the National Zoo in Washington, DC.

We interrupt this post to bring you an important announcement. Earlier this week, I invited people to come up with captions for a few pictures that I'd planned to use for this weeks WiP. Here are a few of the one that folks submitted:

First experiments of transplanting animals on people's heads have been successfully achieved by this man having a porcupine transplanted to his head. "We live in a kind of symbiosis and it's just so great, cause you never feel lonely", he states. Others want to follow this "make your pet a part of yourself" campaign. - Yasmine

Sadly, the proverbial honeymoon over, young Corey Hart was about to find out what blushing bride Pink *actually* looks like at 6 AM. - The Idle Receptionist

PETA is enraged as a new porcupine-fur hat trend sweeps the nation. - Trevor

Mr. Chang was told time and again not to play with his food. - Doug

After hearing the cow jumped over the moon, Picabo Street announced she would not be outdone by a heifer. - Grant

ET decided not to go home... - Jobee

With the invention of the Zuble, or, Super Bubble, skiers no longer have the inconvenience of physically touching snow. - The Idle Receptionist

Taxis impatiently tool around the busy Calcutta streets, waiting for their next fare. - The Idle Receptionist

It NOT a mouse. It's a rock. - Jeanne

Oops. I mean, "It's NOT a mouse. It's a rock." - Jeanne

The driver of at the rear of this picture barely escaped with his life after his trunk popped open at the starting line of a recent race in Bombay. - Joe

We new re-joing the regularly scheduled WiP, already in progress.

After rigorous fact checking by the publisher uncovered more fabricated events, Random House announced they will be re-releasing James Frey's best selling books under the new titles "Roughly Eighty Little Pieces" and "My Imaginary Friend Leonard."

And witht that said, let's move on to our video of the week:

Scientists studying avian migratory habits in Varna, Bulgaria announced that they've found a man that's been raised since birth by a group of swans.

Major cities around the world have begun installing frozen margarita fountains as a way of improving the morale of residents.

Right wing groups are clamoring for a recall of the The Beastiality Foundation's 2006 calendar calling it "disgusting", "obscene", and "disturbingly arousing".

Lucy Liu has joined the growing list of celebrities who refuse to wear the fur of dead animals, opting instead to sew love puppies together to make a warm winter coat.

American tennis player Bob Bryan was escorted out of the awards ceremony at the Australian Open after he performed fellatio on the championship trophy.

And finally, after the team's equipment was stolen, Lille forward Kader Keita saved the day by allowing his teammates to use his head as a ball.

A Sri Lankan model was named this year's winner of the coveted "World's Most Nailed Woman" title.