Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Week in Pictures XXXIX

Random Friday Thoughts:

It's been almost a week, and SHAW TV has yet to make a noticeable difference in my life. I can't tell you how disappointed I am.

Round three of the interview process takes place during lunch this coming Wednesday. I can't go into too much detail, but I will say that it's an HR director spot at a not-for-profit. Basically, I would be responsible to the department that provides centralized HR services for two affiliates and three incubated entries in addition to the other centralized service departments. The idea is that we would allow them to focus the bulk of their time, funding, and effort on activities related to their mission and....uh...this sounds boring even to me so I'll shut up now. The point is that I'm pretty interested in working in the nonprofit field these days, so it'll be fun to see if this all works out.

I'm going camping this weekend. I'm not much of an outdoorsman, but this is partial repayment to my friend S for helping me through some dark days. Apparently, the other part of the repayment is allowing S to make use of various personal trainer techniques to torture me under the guise of whipping me into some semblance of shape.

Some general advice for men. When having sex, don't ever use the line "Who's your daddy?" if there's even the slightest chance that she'll answer with her father's name. It could lead to months of impotence and leave you with a head full troubling questions.

My favorite blog conversation of the week comes from Alice, who recounted a discussion between her and her boyfriend Matt as they relaxed in Matt's jacuzzi.

Alice: it's like in the movies! like you know in pretty woman, when they take that bath?
Matt: yeah... so do you feel like the pretty woman now?
Alice: yup, totally.
Matt: the only difference is that you kiss on the lips.
Me: also, i'm not a hooker.

And finally, yesterday was Okami's birthday. She's an amazing person, and there's no possible way to ever come up with a celebration worthy of her. Because of that, I'll simply send her birthday wishes in 161 different languages - and to that I'll add that my hopes that the coming year is the best of her life, and that the same is true of every year that follows.


In the most overdone story of the week, sculptor Daniel Edwards has created a life-sized sculpture of singer Britney Spears called "Monument to Pregnant Sex: Britney and K-Fed's Favorite Position."

The National Cattlemen's Beef Association announced that they will begin producing PETA meat, which you can expect to see in supermarkets within a month at a price of around $1.40 a pound.

An attempt to aggressively treat Godzilla's prostate cancer with red hot chili peppers went horribly awry resulting in a fire that consumed most of the hospital.

Palestine's Hamas-led government announced that they will allow Israelites to visit the West Bank as long as they agree to wear specially designed identification during their stay.

Though the daffodil contains both male and female parts, botanists have discovered that the long, white male part becomes much more pronounced when the flower is aroused.

The Lord announced that He will no longer carry people during the most trying periods of their lives. "I'm a few billion years old," He said by way of explanation "and my back isn't as strong as it once was."

The announcement comes just one week after He was caught on tape tossing Tara Reid into the ocean after listening to her whine for nearly a year about her failing acting career.

Given the feedback from Blondie, Leesa, ~deb, Yasmine, MJ, and others gave, we're going to go with this video for one more week:

The Venezuelan government is cracking down on smoking after the citizens of Caracas complained of having to walk down butt filled streets.

*Thanks to 'ka for inspiring a much better caption than the one I used last week.

Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Italy announced his resignation after an embarrassing episode during a Wheel of Fortune taping in which he failed to guess the word "Italian"

The U.S. Army is experimenting with new uniforms featuring skirts that double as parachutes.

Batman is threatening to sue New York City after an unrepaired pothole in Brooklyn nearly sent an SUV crashing through the roof of the BatCave.

An aspiring model in California underwent successful surgery to remove a dog head that was growing out of her chest.

The Vatican team is once again the heavy favorite to win this year's Synchronized Cardinal Dancing competition.

The Canadian Eloize Circus took advantage of Canada's largest fleet of giant inflatable water toys by holding a rousing game of puddle soccer at Calgary's Talisman Centre for Sport and Wellness.

Soew Ting Foong of Malaysia's Rhythmic Gymnastics medal hopes in the clubs event at the Melbourne Commonwealth Games were dashed when she slipped on a banana peel.

One of the festivities at the official opening of Wembley Park Underground Station in London was abruptly cancelled when parents objected to their children taking penalty kicks towards a net full of Seaman.

And before we close this edition of "The Week In Pictures" I'll leave you with one last thought. How long before you start seeing copies of this sculpture - with "special add-on features" - showing up in Adult Shops ?