Friday, March 10, 2006

The Week in Pictures - XXXVI

Favorite e-mail exchange of the week:

Her: I like your pathfinder *pretty smile*

Me: hmmm...I'm confused now because I've nicknamed my...um...manhood "the pathfinder"

Her: I think "The Pathfinder" is a suitable nickname... seeing as how he'll quest to find "the spot"

Me: Oh, no. I named it that because it tends to run out of gas remarkably quickly....

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Spring appears to have sprung here in NYC with temperatures in the 60's here today and a gorgeous weekend on tap - or so the weather folks would have us believe. I've fallen prey to their clever tricks before, so I won't get my hopes up.

That said, I'm going to try to sneak out early today to have a few drinks with some friends visiting town before once again heading out of the area for the weekend. I'm planning to take advantage of the warm temperatures by going hiking with some friends and if the weather holds, perhaps even engaging in some rock climbing - a sport I was in the midst of learning in my pre-depression days. So, if you don't hear from me over the next few days, it's probably because I'm in even worse shape than I thought and have somehow suffered a grotesque and disfiguring injury - though how much more disfigured I can possibly look is a matter of some debate. Either that or my heart finally decided to give out after a few months of sending me annoying signals.

It'll also be interesting to see if the yoga that I've been trying out recently (in an effort to be more "Sting-like in the event that I ever have sex again) is good for anything other than making me scream in pain and crawl over to a corner to whimper myself to sleep.

Wish me luck.
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The search for fossil fuel alternatives received a boost when Jose Manuel Durao Barroso, Chairman of the European Commission, was able to generate enough electricity to power a giant light bulb by picking his nose.


French students gathered in Lyon to protest a controversial youth job program that allows employers to stamp their hiring decisions directly on applicant's foreheads.



Thousands of Chinese fled in terror after a paper dragon attacked a group of people preparing for an sunrise tai chi session. Authorities suspect that it was a misunderstanding, stating that the dragon may have been searching for some chai tea.


Tragedy struck at the 2006 Autumn Winter collection Lisbon Fashion show when a falcon flew off with one of the models.


Thought long dead after being blown up by Roy Scheider at the end of the first movie, the Great White shark from Jaws emerged from his hiding place on the back of a flatbed truck and swallowed several passing motorists. Officials insist that there is nothing to fear, and that it's safe to go back on the highway.


Wind gusts in Kalkata, India reached "strong enough to propel parrots through tree trunks" status.





President Bush wrapped up his recent trip to India by receiving the ceremonial Bovine Blow Job.

However, the President's appearance in Pakistan didn't go quite as smoothly as a security guard required medical assistance after getting his nose stuck in the door.


Dogs in New York will no longer have to use trees and fire hydrants to relieve themselves now that the city has installed the world's first canine friendly public restrooms.


Apple announced the release of the iFan, which attaches to the side of the wearer's head to provide a cool breeze during those hot and humid summer months.


Television critics listed the Fox comedy "Stacked" as the worst show on television in a recent poll, with many stating that they simply don't understand Pamela Anderson's appeal.


In entertainment news, Olympic mascots Neve and Gliz were arrested in Turin for drunkenly copulating in a public square after attending an Olympics Closing ceremony party.

*Picture stolen from Okami's hilarious post "Thanks To Joe Mascots Pt2".


Rock star Eddie Van Halen made his first public appearance after having plastic surgery to turn himself into an eighty year old woman.


And finally, as many of you know I'm back on the dating scene after a long hiatus. With that in mind, I'd appreciate your help in choosing which of these three lovely single women I should focus my attention on. From left to right they are (1) Salma Hayek, (2) Sanaa Lathan, and (3) Lisa Loeb.

Don't worry, if it doesn't work out with any of them, I have yet another woman in mind.