Friday, July 28, 2006

The Week in Pictures LIV

Random Friday Thoughts

This week we're all about quantity over quality. Scroll down and you'll see what I mean. Not that we ever really worry about quality here. In fact, the phrase "consistently low" leaps to mind.

I'll catch up on my comment responses next week as shortly after posting this, I'm off to Saratoga to join a group of my friends for our annual weekend of drunken debauchery. Over the past 15 years or so, this gathering has grown from around 20 people to well over 100. It's been a few years since we won big at the track, so I'm hoping our luck changes, especially since going to Desperate Annies and spending money like drunken sailors is a lot more fun when you're celebrating than it is when you're commiserating over the horse that lost by a nose.

Of course, if I had to guess, I'd say that we'll be drinking to forget again this year.

After a lackluster few weeks of job searching while I enjoyed the summer, things have heated up over the past two weeks. Earlier this week, I had a final interview with a great company in Grammercy Park area and next week I'm flying to Chicago for a fourth (and final) round interview with another company. In addition, I had four first round interviews at various other places and all have invited me back for second round interviews.

That said, if I don't land at any of these places, I'm either going to have to move up to Calgary to hang out with the cool kids up there, or down to Texas to try to convince Liz to hire me to take care of her lawn.

Before I forget, here's a link to the video of the week. I know I usually put this in the middle of the WiP, but I just couldn't wait today because I think this is the best one ever.

Sadly, the same can't be said of the WiP.

Authorities have declared a state of emergency in California, where temperatures have reached such extremes that dogs have begun to melt on the sidewalks.

A recent poll conducted by the New York Times showed that over 90% of Americans indicated "no longer having to hear those tired Tour de Lance jokes from sportscasters" as the best part of Floyd Landis' Tour de France victory.

Meanwhile, Tour de France officials are struggling with not only Landis' positive test for elevated testosterone levels, but also with stunning evidence that the second place finisher, Spain's Oscar Pereiro, may not have ridden his bike the entire way.

A six month old baby was the surprise winner in a "George Bush Look Alike Contest" held in Washington DC.

In other Bush news, the goodwill that he engendered by appearing at theNAACP's annual convention was quickly lost when the President slapped Congressman Al Green (D-TX) for being "uppity."

In other news, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that he's "open to trying out some new strategies" should world events require the deployment of additional U.S. Armed Forces.

The divers exploring a shipwreck in the Caribbean who somehow stumbled upon the fabled lost city of Atlantis were even more shocked to find that Elvis has been playing three shows a night there since faking his own death in 1977.

The infamous website launched their controversial new webcam site which allows enthusiasts to watch polar bears doing things like taking showers...

...and preparing to eat lunch.

This just in: Onetime *NSYNC star Lance Bass revealed that he's gay and in a stable relationship with a reality TV star.

In an equally shocking story, water is wet.

Attendees at an OB/GYN convention in Singapore were shown a new technique for conducting pelvic exams without a chair.

This comes on the heels of last month's unveiling of a revolutionary new method for prostate exams.

A woman in Hong Kong is suing her tattoo artist after he included the phrase "kick me" in a series of anti-war slogans she'd hired him to ink on her back.

And here's the prostitute that I hired last weekend to tie me up with her lasso....

Oops...sorry. Wrong blog

The World Penis Championships kicked off this week with contestants from all over the world competing in categories that include size, girth, and artistic flair.

Most experts polled selected last year's champion as the clear cut favorite in the event's prestigious 'Best of Show' category.

A consulting firm hired to increase the popularity of triathlons has recommended that the swimming and cycling portions be combined, and that a "wet t-shirt" portion be added.

Authorities are asking for your help in identifying a group of poltergeists involved in a hit and run that fatally injured a pedestrian who had been trying to cross the street.

In an effort to be listed in the Guiness Book of World Records as the "Most Popular Guru," a Yogi in Kailasa spent over 50 million dollars to improve access to his mountain summit.

Formula One driver Michael Schumacher was treated and released from a local hospital for injuries suffered when he accidentally sat on a champagne bottle.

In a tragic story, a destitute Anbu from the animated series Naruto was seen at ComicCon International in San Diego trying to sell off the man who acts as his body in real life.

As China's economy continues to grow at a rapid pace, business people have taken to joining ride-shares to help ease congestion on crowded roads.

For the 10th consecutive year, the music at the Gay Games closing ceremonies was provided by a group of Alphorn Blowers.

Still desperate for media attention, Britney Spears had her publicists release recently taken photographs of her new thigh tattoo and festively colored pubic hair.

Along with an artistic shot of her latest nipple piercing.

Working with newly uncovered evidence, some scientists have begun to theorize that crop circles are actually nothing more than alien self-portraits.

In preparation for a planned Lady Godiva re-enactment by Camilla Parker Bowles, organizers have taken the unusual step of labeling her pet horse so as to avoid confusion amongst spectators.

In sports, ESPN announced that for the first time ever, this year's X Games will include a "Cargo Carrier X Freestyle" event.

However, the "Moto X Skyscraper Dive" event did not make the cut largely due to the fact that no participants have ever survived.

One week after the completion of the British Open, golfer Geoff Ogilvy of Australia remains still stuck in the bunker on the 10th hole where, at latest report, he's now about four feet below ground.

In sports, Katherine Coronel of Venezuela completed her inspirational comeback by competing in the gymnastics events at the Central American and Caribbean Games despite the fact that she was decapitated a few weeks ago.

Mexico's Cinthia Velez won the gold medal during the women's Rhythmic Gymnastic event at by successfully completing her patented "hidden ball" trick.

Her victory wasn't certain, however, until her closest competitor was disqualified when she tried the same trick but was unable to produce the ball again after hiding it.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Technical Difficulties

We are currently experiencing technical difficulties.

Please bear with us until next week when we return to our regularly scheduled drek that we call a blog.

Friday, July 14, 2006

The Week in Pictures LIII

Random Friday Thoughts

After two overtimes and a shootout, Italy brought home the World Cup last weekend. Historians were quick to point out that it's the first time in nearly a century that anyone from France has worked overtime.

Having poison ivy sucks. On the bright side, my theory that I couldn't possibly look any worse has been proven wrong.

You know, I'm so itchy right now that I'm going to end this right here.

On to the WiP.

Pope Benedict XVI celebrated his arrival in Les Combes d'Introd in the Aosta Valley region of Italy by reaching into a crowd of well-wishers and breaking young boy's neck.

Mexican presidential candidate Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador's "tough on crime" stance was undermined when he was mugged in the middle of a speech.

Moses delighted the children at his family reunion by parting the Red Sea so that they could ride their bikes across.

A Victoria's Secret spokesman said that despite some initial setbacks, the company is committed to creating a market for men's lingerie.

Having faithfully followed Scientology doctrine for decades, Tom Cruise was able to ascend to the advanced level of "Seventies Disco King"

For the fourth year in a row, Brazilian veterinarian Andre Maia has won the annual "Guess the Harbor Seal's Penis Size" contest.

Ronald McDonald credits therapy for allowing him to begin to reveal the man behind the makeup. He expects to be completely cosmetics free within the next two years.

A pair of King Pandas took third place in the Food Network Challenge Birthday Cake Competition.

Groups of ducks have begun patrolling the streets in an effort to locate and bring to justice a border collie that has been harassing their flock.

The video of the week is Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

After a rough start to the day, Wall Street suddenly turned bullish this afternoon.

I really, really need to move to Brazil.

Wimbledon ladies champion Amelie Mauresmo pleaded for her life when a jealous Venus Williams pulled out a bow and began firing tennis racquets at her.

Clinical trials have begun on a controversial new prostate cancer treatment.

The editors at Harpers Bazaar admitted that they were completely unprepared for the public's negative reaction to their cover photo of a naked and pregnant Britney Spears.

Even onetime Spears fling Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst recoiled when he caught a glimpse of the photo.

After weeks of frustrating delays, Grant's mail order brides finally arrived this week.

Though some had to be returned for failing to meet his specifications.

After losing the World Cup shootout, French goalkeeper Fabien Barthez suffered further humiliation when had to pay off a bet with his Italian counterpart by giving himself a wedgie in the middle of the field.