Friday, August 25, 2006

The Week in Pictures LVIII

Random Friday Thoughts:

The softball championship game is this Sunday, so if all goes well I should wind up spending my last day of unemployment nursing a huge hangover from the post-game celebration. My only other option is to spend Monday nursing a huge hangover from a post game drinking binge to drown our sorrows. Either way, I expect to see you all at the came. No excuses...

Spent a bit of time yesterday catching up on blogs. Good to see that everyone is alive and (somewhat) well. Once work begins, I should have a lot more time to invest in screwing around on the internet.

Otherwise, I've been busy finishing up a few projects that I'd stretched out to make the days pass. It's amazing how much you can get done on a deadline - or how long you can make things last when you don't have one.

No video of the week this week. You can blame Liz for that...

Now on to the WiP:

Upset by continued criticism of his administration's Middle East strategy, George Bush threw a massive temper tantrum during a recent press conference that was capped off by the President holding his breath until he turned blue.

Updating a story that we broke for you on Wednesday, it appears that President Bush has turned to the steel workers union to help craft a response to his father's latest salvo in the phallus argument.

As terrorism fears continued to mount, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) expanded their list of banned items to include cattle.

Caravans of refugees stretched for miles outside of Frankfurt as the gnome infantry reached the wooded area between the airport and the city's downtown.

In local news, emergency workers were called to a strip club early this morning to rescue a dancer that had somehow become impaled on her pole.

Tragedy struck at the town fair when a pack of balloon animals suddenly and unexpectedly turned on the clown that created them.

The National Weather Forecasters College is facing legal action for their policy of punishing failing students by using them as part of the school's weather vane.

Veterinarians at Sydney's Taronga Zoo have launched a campaign to remind turtles about the importance of annual pelvic exams.

A Star Trek fan in Melbourne spent nearly six hours waiting to be beamed up by a transporter before a good Samaritan informed her that it was merely a poorly functioning street lamp.

A radio station in Auburn, Maine spent it's entire annual budget trying to boost ratings by launching an airship to keep commuters informed about rush hour traffic on Main Street.

Thousands of fisherman from around the world lined up to show off their prowess at identifying types of fish by their smell alone.

A group of Balinese men who had been participating in bird racing on Serangan beach...

...were dismayed upon returning to the parking lot to find that the bird's relatives had lined up to crap on their cars.

Archaeologists in Boston, Massachusetts have unearthed a new species of dinosaur that they are tentatively calling the "Sandasaurus."

As penguin hunting season kicked off this weekend, several confused hunters filled the sky with cleverly designed decoys, despite the fact that penguins can't fly.

In an effort to save the last remnants of their privacy, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have instituted a "no photos" policy in their bathroom.

Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland has entered a rehab program in the hopes of getting the monkey off his back.

In a related story, the Tigers announced the monkey's uncle will manage the team in Leyland's absence.

Santa was in town this weekend to cavort with a few hookers prior to the beginning of his busy season.

And finally, here's our official Sankes on a Plane reference for the week:

All your plane are belong to us!