Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Week in Pictures: Special Report

Many of you have noticed that I haven't been writing as much of late as I had in the past. While I couldn't speak of it earlier, the truth is that I've been laboring to uncover the truth behind the war in Iraq. While many theories have been touted including the war on terror, the mistaken belief that Iraq posessed WMDs, and the desire to spread democracy in the Middle East, I've discovered that in the end, it comes down nothing more than the age old battle between a father and his son.

Things came to a boil at a recent press conference, when in reference to the President's ranch in Crawford, Texas, reporter asked "How big is it?" Mistaking the intent of the question, the President estimated the size of his manhood for the crowd. The moment was eerily reminiscent of a similar gaffe his father made during a debate in 1980.

After seeing the side by side comparison, Bush Sr. immediately went on the talk show circuit to "set the record straight," claiming that the stress of the Presidential race lead him to greatly underestimate the size of his proverbial endowment.

Not to be outdone, the younger Bush took the opportunity to not only prove his manhood by invading Iraq, but to use a speech at a local college to clear up any misconceptions about who is the bigger man.

At last sighting, Bush Sr. was seen scouring seedy adult shops and back alleys for the perfect props to end the battle once and for all. .

We'll be back with more on this story as it develops.