Friday, September 15, 2006

The Week in Pictures LX

Random Friday Thoughts:

Work is still cool.

Life is still life.

I have parties to attend to tonight and tomorrow, and I'm heading to the Jets - Patriots game on Sunday. Oddly enough, I'm not looking forward to any of it.

I really don't have much to say today and blogger - which has apparently recognized that the vapid, insipid drek that I call writing and my pathetic attempts at wit are cluttering up the internet - seems to agree and has therefore made my blog unreachable for the better part of the day, so let's move on to the WiP and see if anyone ever has the misfortune of seeing it.

The moon suffered an embarrassing moment just before dawn today when it discovered that it had spent the entire night with it's fly unzipped.

A member of the Cuban Honour Guard was drummed out of service after an unseemly incident in which his bayonet rose while he was checking out a female soldier at the end of the receiving line.

Astrologers studying the sun uncovered shocking evidence regarding the origin of the asteroids hurtling around the galaxy.

A man is suing Macy's after an unexploded firework became lodged in as he watched the retailer's famed 4th of July show.

A record number of shark attacks in the area have made swimmers remain more skittish than usual while bathing in the ocean.

A severe shortage of women in the region is forcing Tongolese men to find companionship by using alternative means.

Religious leaders concerned that Jesus may have fallen off the wagon have hung 'missing deity' posters at a number of local bars.

Jennifer Aniston and her identical twin sister will appear on Oprah next week to discuss how jealousy over the former Friends star's success has soured their relationship.

Business formal dress is coming back in a big way as many designers at Spring 2007 Fashion Week in New York City unveiled the huge ties that should be all the rage next year.

A man who visited his doctor complaining of a tingling sensation in his ass was relieved to find that it was caused by the vibrating cell phone he'd lost a month earlier

Researchers studying the dwindling ice caps in Antarctica found a frozen hippie who had apparently become disoriented and wandered north after smoking too much weed at Woodstock.

Everton's Andy Johnson suffered a concussion during a match with Liverpool when he was hit in the head by a piece of soccer ball size hail.

Afghanistan's President Hamid Karzai is offering a reward of $1,000,000 afghanis ($19,992 U.S. dollars) for information leading to the capture of the thief that stole his novelty Coke bottle bank.

Two men were killed this afternoon after engaging in a game of 'chicken' over who could wait the longest to open his parachute.

As a result of the tragedy, others participating in the dangerous pastime have begun making contingency plans.

Italy's Tania di Mario nearly drowned during a recent water polo match when the water rose by an extra foot.

Featured amongst the statues in a new Greek park celebrating the life of Alexander the Great is one of his lesser known brother "Alexander the Skate." .

A tourist in Central Park received the shock of his life when he opened his eyes and found a squirrel nibbling on his nuts.