Thursday, October 12, 2006

Is Waylon Jennings Available?

I've decided to hire a narrator for my life - and not one of those boring, scene setting ones like the Stage Manager in Our Town , either. What I really need is one of those The Wonder Years future-self type narrators who reflects on my not-so-youthful follies with the sense of perspective gained by time and distance.

For example he might say "In just two minutes, I was going to learn a valuable lesson about locking my office door", which would be my cue to pull up my pants and hide the goat, Vaseline, and sandpaper. By the time my boss walked in, I'd be staring at the monitor pretending to work (and, I suppose, frantically trying to talk over the suspicious bleating sounds coming from the file cabinet).

Yeah, that would be sweet.

Too bad I didn't have one of those before my boss walked in a few minutes ago...