Friday, December 01, 2006

The Week in Pictures LXIX

Friday Thoughts:

Next week is going to be insane. I have meetings all day Monday through Wednesday - with the office holiday party on Tuesday evening - and then I fly out to Newport Beach, CA on Wednesday evening for more meetings on Thursday and Friday (and another holiday party on Thursday evening).

Actually, now that I think about it, the two days of free food, drinks, and dancing - as well as a weekend in California - make it kind of tough to complain. I just hope that by the time I arrive, Doug will have fixed that weather issue that he wrote about earlier this week.

Funny line overheard at lunch the other day:
"He's happier than Michael Jackson at a Harry Potter book signing."

As I was driving up to Stamford yesterday, I noticed that there were a number of houses where people had apparently raked the leaves in their front yards but not their backyards. At some point, some of the leaves from the back had blown into the front, making the yards appear as if they had bad comb-overs.

I hate the fact that when you incorrectly type in the word verification in blogger's comments section, it almost always gives you a more difficult one. If I got it wrong the first time, what makes them think I'll get the second one right?

I hate negative reinforcement.

Anyway, on to the WiP:

Police are on the lookout for a flock of turkeys that escaped from their cells on Thanksgiving, just hours before they were scheduled to be executed.

Several animal adoption centers have formed strategic partnerships with orphanages in an effort to streamline processes and reduce overhead.

The fear of many came to pass when Pope Benedict XVI launched his fleet of spaceship churches as a precursor to an all out attack against mankind.

A bee was arrested yesterday for public indecency after being caught performing an oral sex act with a flower in the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens.

Gratuitous picture of Paula Patton

New York City finally opened it's long awaited amusement park on Liberty Island.

A group of people walking past a winery barely escaped with their lives when they were caught in a flash flood caused by a spilled bottle of Merlot.

A crisis at the Lincoln memorial was narrowly averted when an anti-terror squad disarmed the 16th President's shoe bomb before it could detonate.

Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker is offering a $10,000 reward for the return of his lightsaber, which he last saw when he set it down in order to use a public restroom.

I can't help thinking that it would be so cool if my penis looked like that.

Our video of the week is "9 Crimes" from Damien Rice:

The Playboy Channel announced that it's launching an updated version of the Hollywood Squares.

For the first time ever, Santa Claus will be delivering presents to sea creatures this year. He's even hired a new team to help pull his sleigh underwater.

David Blaine will lead 100 children selected by The Salvation Army on a shopping expedition at Target after the magician successfully freed himself from a gyroscope he'd be shackled to in New York's Times Square. The Salvation Army reportedly turned down far more generous offers to the children that were made on the condition that they leave Blaine strapped to the gyroscope for eternity.

The oft ridiculed Chicken Dance is finally getting its due with a performance by the prestigious Martha Graham Dance Company.

American Music Awards presenter Katherine McPhee had to back out at the last moment after she became so nervous that she wet herself.

Later in the show, Torri Spelling received a 15 minute standing ovation for getting Clay Aiken to shut up.

And Britney Spears tried to re-launch her career by flashing her breasts as frequently as possible.

Speaking of Spears, her soon to be ex-husband is reduced to scrounging for food after being cut off by the pop princess.

In sports, a quick thinking teammate saved the life of Lyon's John Carew when he began choking on a blade of grass.

The Knights Templar, whose order was thought to have been officially ended in 1314, are apparently alive and well. According to their Grand Master, they've spent the last 700 years "kicking back, drinking beer, and watching cricket."

The struggling New York Knicks spent their entire workout today practicing leaping for rebounds with grace and fluidity.

Blind item: What famous fashion model was spotted having dinner with her biggest fan the other night?

After feuding for nearly two centuries, the Goldilocks and Bear families patched up their differences over a hearty Thanksgiving meal.

And finally, Men Against Condoms (MAC) launched an aggressive poster program designed to educate people about a phrase that the group feels will be extremely effective in preventing unwanted pregnancies.