Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Quick Thoughts

What's running through my head today:

8;00 a.m. - There's a Japanese restaurant near my place that offers 30% off sushi, seven days a week. That sounds like a good deal until you realize that if they do it every day then it's not really a sale, it's just the price.

8:17 a.m. - They recently installed automatic soap dispensers in the bathrooms of one of our New Jersey offices. Simply place your hand under the pump and it squirts a stream of liquid soap directly into your palm. Now every time I wash up, I feel like I'm giving the fixtures a hand job.

9:53 a.m. - I've already had to fire someone, place another person on warning, and attend a painful conference call. I need a drink. If you're in the area, please feel free to swing by and drag me to the nearest bar . If you do, I'll be forever in your debt.

10:59 a.m. - Now it's nearly 11:00 and the odd day continues. While on my way to a meeting with our COO, I ran into Doug E. Fresh in our reception area. Apparently he's here to meet with our Global Chairman. Who knew that the hip-hop legend was into commercial real estate? Seeing him here was roughly akin to running into Mr. Rogers at a Jay-Z concert.

12:06 p.m. - Is it just me or are the 2008 Democratic Presidential hopefuls starting to resemble a really bad Tommy Hilfiger ad?

1:05 p.m. - I need something like this to get me from the train to my office in the morning and back to the train in the evening.

2:10 p.m. - I'm halfway through a two-hour long HR Leadership Team conference call. Please. Shoot. Me. Now.

2:31 p.m. - Windows Vista rolled out nearly 15 hours ago and it's yet to change the world. Bill Gates has let me down again.

3:24 p.m. - The call just ended with the usually flurry of nonsensical statements including "let me re-echo what Jack just said." and "unless there is any further ado, we'll end the call here."

3:40 p.m. - Back to politics for a second. If Barakk Obama decides to run for a president, I predict that it'll take about 40 seconds for every headline writer in the country to come up with a stupid pun along the lines of "Obama-nation"

6:18 p.m. - Just left another long and fruitless meeting. I'm going to pack up in a few minutes and go on an epic quest for the largest bottle of halfway decent wine that I can get my hands on.

6:19 p.m. - And don't for a moment think that I've overlooked the fact that none of you came to my rescue today. I haven't been this hurt and upset since Windows Vista rolled out and failed to change the world.