Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Eating Disorder

Today's lesson is this: Eating alone on a frequent basis adversely impacts one's table manners.

I was reminded of this recently when I was out to lunch with one of our Managing Directors. While he gracefully cut each piece of meat, taking care to place his knife on the plate and switch his fork from his left hand to his right before eating, I shoveled food into my mouth like a starving convict trying to down the last pork chop. While he dabbed at his mouth with his napkin, I sucked spilled food off of my tie. While he sipped his water, I downed glasses of wine like a pirate on shore leave. While he swallowed before speaking, I spoke with my mouth full, spraying food about like a machine gun toting hero trying to fight off a pack of zombies.

In summary, I seem to have lost every ounce of class I've ever developed.

Not much to lose, I'll grant you, but an impressive feat regardless.