Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Travel Tips: Denver

I'm back and ready to tell you all of the things I did while I was in Denver.

Ready?

Okay, first I got to see the conference center auditorium, then the conference center restaurant, then the conference center bar, and finally my room. I repeated that sequence of events for the entire three days. All of which was, of course, bracketed by a journey from the airport, and then back to the airport. In fact, the airport was so lovely, I decided to include a picture of it.

Anyway, I had intended to write an in-depth travel essay for you but because my experience was so limited I was forced to make some sweeping generalizations about the city and it's inhabitants. Here's what I discovered:

  1. They feed you a lot.
  2. Outdoors may look lovely, but they'll almost never let you experience it.
  3. They enjoy holding people hostage in dark conference rooms where they flaunt their freakishly in-depth knowledge of commercial real estate..
So, you know, you'll want to keep those things in mind in the event that you ever decide to visit there.
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Best two lines overheard during my travels:

1. During one of the few breaks during which we were able to wander outdoors:

"People always say how beautiful Denver is, but it feels like a desert someone plopped down in the middle of a mountain."

2. At the conference center bar:

Woman: "No, I won't go back to your room with you."
Man: "Why not?"
Woman (shouting): "Because you're married and you got, like, nine kids and a dog!"


And for the record, I wasn't the guy in that last conversation