Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Travel Tips: Denver

I'm back and ready to tell you all of the things I did while I was in Denver.


Okay, first I got to see the conference center auditorium, then the conference center restaurant, then the conference center bar, and finally my room. I repeated that sequence of events for the entire three days. All of which was, of course, bracketed by a journey from the airport, and then back to the airport. In fact, the airport was so lovely, I decided to include a picture of it.

Anyway, I had intended to write an in-depth travel essay for you but because my experience was so limited I was forced to make some sweeping generalizations about the city and it's inhabitants. Here's what I discovered:

  1. They feed you a lot.
  2. Outdoors may look lovely, but they'll almost never let you experience it.
  3. They enjoy holding people hostage in dark conference rooms where they flaunt their freakishly in-depth knowledge of commercial real estate..
So, you know, you'll want to keep those things in mind in the event that you ever decide to visit there.
Best two lines overheard during my travels:

1. During one of the few breaks during which we were able to wander outdoors:

"People always say how beautiful Denver is, but it feels like a desert someone plopped down in the middle of a mountain."

2. At the conference center bar:

Woman: "No, I won't go back to your room with you."
Man: "Why not?"
Woman (shouting): "Because you're married and you got, like, nine kids and a dog!"

And for the record, I wasn't the guy in that last conversation