Thursday, July 19, 2007

Steamed

What a day yesterday.

It began with a torrential downpour that, if news reports are to be believed, dumped 5 inches of rain on the area in just a few hours and which was highlighted by a tornado that whipped through a (very) small part of Long Island.1

Then late yesterday afternoon a steam pipe exploded that spewed mud and pebbles through the air and sent a steam cloud that, according to some observers, reached as high as the nearby Chrysler Building2

At that time I was in a meeting uptown. When I left the meeting and checked my voice mail, I had a number of messages from people calling to make sure that I was okay - which was touching until I realized that all of they were all from my creditors and life insurance beneficiaries.

I awoke this morning hoping to put the events of yesterday behind me, but I was stunned when, in my groggy state, I peeked out the window couldn't understand how the steam from the burst pipe had completely enveloped Long Island to the extent that I couldn't even see my pool from my second story bedroom window. About a second later, I woke up enough to realize that it was actually just fog.

When I arrived at work this morning, I was called into a meeting to help determine a way to figure out why - in spite of our frequent communications and drills - our employees chose to react to yesterday's events by spreading rumors that the building was collapsing and sprinting for the stairs. 3

And to cap it all off, as I walked to the subway to head downtown for a meeting this morning a short, portly gentleman standing next to me decided to educate me by screaming in my face that checking my Blackberry while waiting to cross the street somehow makes me a "faggot". I pushed him away, but he proceeded to follow me for a block or so while speculating loudly about my sexual preferences and various and sundry other topics until I finally stopped and turned to face him, at which point he hustled across the street to continue shouting at me from other side.

Of course, life tends to balance itself out in the end. I know this because on the way back from the meeting, I was handed a free breakfast bar and coupon for a free 1/2 hour massage.

I just hope the masseuse doesn't turn out to be the guy that was yelling at me.
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1 Don't worry, SSC. That kind of stuff never happens out here. Then again, there's no reason for you to believe me since we've had several freak storms and a steam pipe explosion since I started telling you that these things really don't happen out here.

2 According to Wikipedia, the Chrysler Building stands 1,047 feet (319 meters) high

3 Which, admittedly, would have been a good strategy had they been correct.