Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Waist Products

People are always espousing the virtues of technological advances, but to be honest I'm not sure how much I like living in the modern world. Sure, cell phones, microwaves, iPods, and the like are wonderful but I suspect that quality was more prevalent in days gone by.

For example, I've noticed that the waist on every pair of pants that I own appears to be shrinking. I'm not sure if it's influenced by climate, modern cleaning products, or poorly manufactured cloth, but it's odd that it only impacts the waist and not the rest of the garment.

Its not limited to clothes, either. In looking at some of the pictures that the ever beautiful SSC took during my recent trip to visit her, its evident that modern digital cameras appear to add somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 pounds on me. I expect it has something to do with distortion, but you'd think that they'd be able to correct that.

Modern grooming products seem to have the opposite effect, though. Shampoos and other grooming products somehow conspire to make my hair appear much thinner than it was a few years back. In fact, my hairline seems to have migrated from receding to a full retreat.

I could go on and on about how soaps cause wrinkles and preservatives in food cause my body to ache each morning, but you get the point.

Because I know for sure that it's not just me aging. It can't be.