Monday, February 11, 2008

An Open Letter to Miramax Films

Dear Miramax,

Let me begin by admitting that I've yet to see "There Will Be Blood" and if history is any indication, I'll probably never see it. You see, there are roughly 5.478 movies that I intend to see, many of which I own in DVD form, none of which I will likely ever watch unless they're showing on TV on a night when I'm too drunk or tired to change the channel.

However, the reviews are excellent. Two leap to mind:

"A brilliant masterful film." and

"Intelligent, audacious, and intense, with images that will linger in your mind long after you've left the theater."

Of course, my awe is tempered that the former was written in a publication called "Ain't It Cool News" and the latter is from American Cinematographer - a publication that you'd just assume would be targeted at cinematic image fetishists. Still, you've received a number of Academy Award nominations, so congratulations on what I'll concede is a brilliant film.

Anyway, the point of this letter is to thank you for providing me with a line that I can wander around the office spouting. It probably speaks to the banality of my work days, but nothing is more fun than shouting "I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE! I DRINK IT UP!" at unsuspecting co-workers.

So thanks, Miramax.


Your Friend,

Joe

P.S. - I've also found that shouting "Draaaiiinnnaaaggge. DRAAAIIINNNAAAGGGE!" in the men's room is a great way to get the place all to myself, so thanks again!