Thursday, March 20, 2008

Well, Spring

Since my last post I've come to realize that it's only a matter of time before the pharmaceutical companies fix it so that my water bill includes a co-pay.

From there, we'll start hearing conversations along the lines of "I may have to sell my house. My water company no longer accepts my insurance."

I apologize for the lack of recent posts. I thought I was suffering from writer's block, but my doctor says that it may be a touch of Vernal Equinox.

Not to worry though, there's still a spring in my step!

HA HA HA HA...erm...ha.


Anyway, per the request that Melinda made a while back. I think I'll try to get pack to posting some form of the Week in Pictures starting tomorrow so I'd better get started on that. In the meantime, feel free to amuse yourselves.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Water World

A few days ago the Associated Press published the results of an investigation which revealed that trace amounts of pharmaceuticals were present in the drinking water supplies of twenty-four major metropolitan areas.

One reaction to news of this sort might be to pledge to drink only bottled water from now on - conveniently ignoring the fact that there are no federal standards for acceptable levels of pharmaceutical residue in bottled water nor is the water treated or tested for them. In fact, I'd argue that this news would indicate that you should drink more tap water. Doing so in Philadelphia, for example, would safeguard you to some degree from pain, high cholesterol, asthma, epilepsy, mental illness and heart problems.

As for the cities named in the study, I think they're missing out on a tremendous marketing opportunity. If I were the mayor of San Francisco and I learned that a sex hormone was detected in my city's drinking water, you can bet that I'd have "SanFran-Up" on the shelves of every store in America by now. When the drinking water for Washington, D.C. and surrounding areas tested positive for six pharmaceuticals, I'd have bottled up some Washington, OCD. And if they ever find traces of sedatives in the Emerald City's water supply, I'll be the first to suggest SleepAddled's Best.

Anyway, while you ponder the wisdom of my proposal, I'm going to get myself a glass of good old fashioned NYC tap. From what I gather, it's chock full of trace concentrations of estrogen, heart medicine, infection fighters, anti-convulsants, a mood stabilizer and a tranquilizer.

Come to think of it, the last two must explain why I'm so calm about my increasing breast size brought on by the first one.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

An Open Letter to My Blog Readers

Dear Cup O' Joe Readers,

Hi! I didn't see you there.

Sorry, give me a minute to stop patting myself on the back and I'll be right with you.

There, that's better.

Anyway, you've probably come to expect my blog to be full of, well, drek. However there is also the occasional funny story, strange observation, or (when writers block strikes) set of pictures of my niece. What you probably didn't realize was that all of those posts were just a clever disguise for the hard-hitting journalism that lies at the core of this enterprise.

At this time last year, I wrote a startling (and, um, widely ignored) post about my doubts about a popular herbal effervescent tablet. I'd like to think (though there is no basis in fact) that as a result of the story uncovered by my dogged determination and Woodward and Bernstein-esque pursuit of the facts, the makers of Airborne, have agreed to pay $23 million settlement to customers.

What's even better is that my new-found stance as a consumer advocate apparently qualifies me to run for the highest elected office in the land so I'm choosing this forum to launch my bid for the Presidency of the United States of America!

(insert wild cheers here)

Of course, while you wait for election day - or in the case of those readers from outside of the country, while you apply for citizenship so that you can vote for me in the upcoming election -you should feel free pass the time by nominating me a Pulitzer Prize. Thanks.

Your Friend,


Monday, March 03, 2008

Snow Cute

More posts to come, but I thought I'd share a few pictures of my niece Jasmine passing the time while she waits for her new little brother to be born.

An angel making an angel.

Her very first snowman.

Taking baby Lilly for a horse ride.

Can you feel the music?!?