Tuesday, March 04, 2008

An Open Letter to My Blog Readers

Dear Cup O' Joe Readers,

Hi! I didn't see you there.

Sorry, give me a minute to stop patting myself on the back and I'll be right with you.

There, that's better.

Anyway, you've probably come to expect my blog to be full of, well, drek. However there is also the occasional funny story, strange observation, or (when writers block strikes) set of pictures of my niece. What you probably didn't realize was that all of those posts were just a clever disguise for the hard-hitting journalism that lies at the core of this enterprise.

At this time last year, I wrote a startling (and, um, widely ignored) post about my doubts about a popular herbal effervescent tablet. I'd like to think (though there is no basis in fact) that as a result of the story uncovered by my dogged determination and Woodward and Bernstein-esque pursuit of the facts, the makers of Airborne, have agreed to pay $23 million settlement to customers.

What's even better is that my new-found stance as a consumer advocate apparently qualifies me to run for the highest elected office in the land so I'm choosing this forum to launch my bid for the Presidency of the United States of America!

(insert wild cheers here)

Of course, while you wait for election day - or in the case of those readers from outside of the country, while you apply for citizenship so that you can vote for me in the upcoming election -you should feel free pass the time by nominating me a Pulitzer Prize. Thanks.

Your Friend,