Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Key-eeesh!

Michelle Ann's recent post reminded me that it's been a while since I wrote about some of the keywords that my statcounter tells me heve been entered into various search engines that somehow lead some apparently fairly disturbed people to my blog.

Keep in mind that these are one-off examples that ignore the larger trend which is, of course, that my blog is wildly popular with people looking for pictures of Khandi Alexander, Lark Voorhees, or Erica Cerra in various states of undress.

Then there is that lone individual who continues visit to my blog in the misguided hopes that I will one day post pictures of Canadian female bodybuilder Dayana Cadeau in the shower. To that person I say "please stop".

Anyway, here are some of the most recent keyword results along with my commentary (in italics):

jesus saves interstate
The lesser known parable in which He turns wine into asphalt.

nude pics blogspot
That’s not what I meant when I told you to search for blogger skins!

tall giant women spanked women
They were giants, officer, except…like…really tall ones!

tall skinny cartoon character
...and for some reason these two guys were fighting over her. One was normal looking, but the other one smoked a pipe, and had a squinty eye and HUGE forearms.

o'joe
They must be looking for my Irish cousin

my cup o joe march 21
An ode to the best cup of coffee ever. “’T’was a dark, full-bodied brew / For which I paid a buck or two…”

her forties cross legged she aroused his revealing
It’s the age old story - all it takes is a couple of forties to arouse a guy’s revealing

this limber 18
‘Dear Penthouse’ for numerologists

ejackulation secrets
Well there was that time in the hand towel…

pirate code full
During the golden age of piracy, this alert was often sounded immediately after dinner

a telephone rang in the darkness a tinny unfamiliar ring. he fumbled
Of course he fumbled the phone. Tinny unfamiliar rings have no hands!

larissa franca ass brazil volley pics
Not a day went by that brazillian volleyball player larissa franca didn’t regret hyphenating her last name when she got married

zombie came to life and clawed it's way out of the
...out of the what?!? Great, now I’m going to be checking around corners for zombies all day

cartoon picture of the letter j on his helmet
For which he was shamelessly mocked by the other football players

office celebrity death pool
Oh no, I hope I’m not an office celebrity

a picture titled madonna with woman holding child, mcdonalds cup in picture
Even during the Renaissance, it was all about product placement

there's nothing to see in this cup on my knee
Worst. Limerick. Ever.

lesbian gives diaper wedgies
And she wonders why nobody every answers her ad for babysitting services

ejackulation pictures
What is the sound of one hand typing?
(also note that this is the same creative spelling used in the previous example)

ball smacking mistress
Exactly the sort of thing one hopes never to run into in a dark alley

indiana jones fertility idol
Which, it turns out, is a statuette of a ball smacking mistress. That certainly explains why he carries that whip everywhere