Thursday, June 26, 2008

Free Tai Chi

While walking through Bryant Park on my way to work this morning I noticed a sign that said Free Tai Chi lessons - Tuesday and Thursday 7:30 a.m.

Now I don't know where exactly Tai Chi (though I assume it's somewhere in Asia) is, but I firmly believe that we have a moral obligation to help others cast of the chains of oppression wherever it might exist, so I was all for learning how to help so, of course, I stopped and waited.

At 7:30, they made us get up and stretch. I suppose they didn't want any pulled muscles or lawsuits resulting from same distracting them from their mission. Afterwards, they coached us through a series of slow motion martial arts movements that seemed designed to tell the Tai Chian1 leaders that if they don't free their people, we're prepared to start moving much more quickly and go all Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon2 on their collective asses.3

Anyway, after about 15 minutes of this I grew bored and found myself gazing wistfully at the Jamba Juice store across the street. Frankly, I could hardly see how this whole slo-mo Akido thing was going to help, so I left.

Next time I'll just ask if I can sign a petition or something.
1 Sorry, I don't know what the proper name is.

2 Though in my case it would likely be more along the lines of Jack Black starring in
Kung Fu Panda

3 Though how well that would work against modern military weapons remains to be seen.