Thursday, July 31, 2008

An Open Letter to Steve Jobs

Dear Steve,

At some point I, like every other person in the world, will probably buy an iPhone. Of course, if history is any indication, about two months after I buy it Apple and every other phone maker in the world will render the it obsolete by coming out with a smart phone that not only does everything the iPhone does, but also irons your shirts, cooks your meals, and performs oral sex at the push of a button.....

Erm...sorry. I lost my train of thought for a few minutes there.

Anyway, Apple has done a great job not only being on the cutting edge of technology but being an innovator. Still, I can't help but feel that there are tons of opportunities out there that you're not taking advantage of so during a recent meeting I took the opportunity to stop paying attention to whatever the meeting organizer was talking about so that I could jot down a few ideas. Here's what I came up with:

iBALL sporting equipment

iBEAM portable flashlights

iSIGHT fashion eyeglass frames

iSORE massage parlors

iTOOTH dentures

iWEAR clothing line

iGLASS drink ware

iLASH dominatrix gear

You could also further infringe on Microsoft's territory by creating a vacation website built around Apple designed iLiner cruise ships that would ferry people to your own uniquely designed tourist attractions like the iFfel Tower.

And finally, there's my greatest idea. You could create a whole new concept in bathroom fixtures called...

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

The iPotty!

Anyway, I would have come up with more ideas, but the meeting organizer asked me a question and I had to pretend I'd been paying attention. No doubt you'll be contacting me with a lucrative offfer to join your team and we can discuss more of my ideas at that time. So with that said I'll end this letter here and will await your call.

I look forward to hearing from you!