Wednesday, August 27, 2008

An Open Letter to Home Depot

Dear Home Depot,

Let me begin by telling you how much I enjoy spending time in your stores. It's probably the closest I'll ever come to knowing what its like for a woman to walk into a shoe store (or for pinknest to walk into a restaurant). It's extremely rare that I leave your store without buying one or two items that I hadn't planned on purchasing (and will likely never use).

Which brings me to the point of this letter. About a year ago you installed self-service checkout scanners, which you marketed as a convenience for your shoppers. At the same time, you begin to reduce the number of registers manned by employees. When the time comes for us to pay for our purchases, we examine the long line at the one non-self service register and, like good little lemmings we head over to the self-service area, scan and bag our own merchandise, insert our money or credit card into the machine, and head home to fondle our new purchases.

As I waited in line this weekend for my turn to tithe at the Home Depot altar I was struck by the revelation that I have, in effect, become a part-time Home Depot employee which, according to your careers site, entitles me to receive benefits benefits including, vacation.

As it turns out, I'm going on vacation next week (sorry about the short notice) and I fully expect to be paid during my time off.

Frankly, I'd ask the same of my local supermarket but the truth is that their benefits are so horrible that I'm considering resigning (that is to say making the cashier handle my purchases) - but that's another open letter entirely.

Your friend,

Joe