Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Good Vibrations

As a general rule I try not to get wrapped up in ego, but after reading Trixie's post recently I can't help but wonder about women and their toys.

Let's say you're a typical man (assuming there is such a thing). You're likely reasonably confident in your bedroom skills (deservedly so or not) and wouldn't necessarily mind the occasional prop inserted thrown into the mix. But when does it cross the line between enhancing the experience and becoming the experience?

I mean, even the most self-confident man couldn't help but to question his skills when foreplay starts to consist you bringing him into the bedroom, turning on adult movie, firing up the laptop and navigating to a porn site, emptying out your Santa Claus-sized bag of gadgets and strapping equipment to every part of your body, and asking me him to help plug everything into the set of eight daisy-chained power strips conveniently placed next to the bed before finally tossing in q casual "Oh, by the way, would you mind connecting this set of booster cables to the car battery in the corner and trotting off to the kitchen to make me a snack while I get started?"

Of course, most men will do anything that holds the promise of sex as a reward, so off he goes into the kitchen. Before he knows it the lights in the house go dim and she's screaming like she's being water-boarded while forced at gunpoint to watch "The Love Guru." By the time he makes it back to the room she's snoring peacefully with a contented smile on her face as smoke pours from the overtaxed wall outlet. Meanwhile, he's left with an uneaten sandwich to nibble on as he crawls around the room in search of the pieces of his now shattered ego.

Erm...I'm just speaking hypothetically, of course.