Monday, October 13, 2008

Rejection Pile

From time to time I drop random thoughts into my blog drafts with the intent of one day going back and expanding on them, but more often than not, I just delete them. Want to know why? Here are a few examples:

Example 1
I remember the time I totally misunderstood the meaning of "Toys for Tots." I dropped off my new, unwrapped gift and...well...let's just say that baby's mother was pretty angry no matter how many times I explained that I thought it was an exchange program.

Example 2:
Snow White was feeling sleepy. Rumor has it that the other six dwarfs were up all night listening to the two of them go at it.1

Example 3:
Vice Presidential Candidate Gov. Palin often cites foreign policy experience based on Alaska's proximity to Russia. I like that line of thinking and have decided to adopt it to expand my areas of expertise. I now consider myself a Financial Expert because I sometimes go my bank and "Michelin Three-Star Chef" because I occasionally walk by Le Bernardin.

Based on what I accidentally glimpsed from my bedroom window last night, I'm also now an expert on having sex with my neighbor's wife.

But I can't see how I can possibly put that on my resume.

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1Thanks to PracticallyJoe, Deidre, and GreenJello for correcting my Snow White / Cinderella gaffe. Clearly I wasn't paying attention when we covered that in school. And also I'm not that bright.