Thursday, November 20, 2008

Twilight...Of my Career?

The blog world is atwitter - or perhaps aFacebook (get it? it's an interweb social networking joke!) as the apparently anxiously awaited premiere of Twilight. I haven't seen this many people excited about a movie since...well...Sex and the City earlier this year.

Now I know nothing about the books or the movie (knowing nothing seems to be a theme of mine this week), but just for fun I decided to print out a list of quotes and sprinkle them throughout my conversations today.

Here's what I've been able to work in so far:

"Your skin is pale white...and ice cold." - To a co-worker as we rode the elevator this morning

“There was no image violent enough to encapsulate the force of what happened to me in that moment” - To someone who asked how my evening was.

“Hating her, hating how she made me feel – it helped a little.” - To my assistant when she asked how my meeting with our COO went.

“You are a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you.” - Included in a draft of a written warning that I sent to a manager for review

“So, is the new one afraid of us yet?” - Asked of a manager about an employee we hired a few months ago.

"If I could dream at all it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." - To Phil - one of our Managing Directors - as I walked into a meeting.

“I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart - I've left it with you.” - To Phil as I left to get a cup of coffee before the meeting began.

“Here’s the thing… I've already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are.” - In response to a question about why we chose to take action A instead of action B to resolve an issue.

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her.” - To a Manager who asked for advice on dealing with a difficult employee

“If you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I'll cheerfully beat you to death” - To the same manager as we discussed some confidential information

“You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met” - To my boss as she explained a recent department reorganization

“I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun when you're around.” - To an employee that just returned from disability leave.

Anyway, what I've found most interesting about this exercise thus far is that people aren't looking at me any more quizzically than usual.