Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Gaining Pounds

More in my continuing series of emails to strangers who insist on trying to give me money:


From: Irish News Center
Subject: Congratulations Lucky Winner

Ref: UK-BTL/4910XI/04
Batch: 12/25/0304

You have won £1,350,000.00 pounds.

send the following: Name,Age,Sex,Country


Mrs Garland Alexander


Dear Mrs. Alexander,

That's great news!

I can't believe this! I never win anything - especially without entering some kind of drawing or something! But I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (erm...please don't think that I'm calling you a horse or anything. It's just an expression that we use over here) so let me give you the information that you requested:

My name is Joe. I'm a 42 year-old male and I live in the United States.

I have to say that I'm particularly happy because this will once again make me wealthier than my E-MAIL which, if you read my blog, you'll know recently won £891,934. You can only imagine how difficult it's been to live with it since then.

By the way, a Mrs. Elizabeth and a Mr. James Terry from your office also sent e-mails (to my E-MAIL (ha, ha)) notifying me that I've won the exact same amount. Would it be possible for the three of you to get together and send me just one large check (or cheque as you probably call it) for £4,000,000? (You may keep the remaining £50,000 as a tip) Frankly, it's easier for me to handle one check than three, particularly since I worry that I'll misplaces one of them. I mean, who among us hasn't had to tear up the house looking for that £1,350,000 cheque that we're sure we left on the sofa table (or whatever you call them over there)?

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Your Friend,