Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Green Day

Hey boys and girls! It's St. Patrick's Day and you know what that means!

Erm...amatuer hour in the local bars. Bagels whose greenish hue leave you wondering if it's food coloring or mold. Poorly pulled pints of Guiness from bartenders too harried to do it right.


Anyway, the past week has been pretty rough and so I'm going to take a brief break from blogging so that I can get a few things straight.

See you all soon.

Or not.

Monday, March 09, 2009

An Open Letter to Congress

Dear Congress,

I know you're busy with the economy and and all of that other political stuff, so let me get right to the point.

I completely understand and can get behind the whole concept of daylight savings time. For one thing, traveling to work in the dark makes it much, much easier for me to sleep on the train. It'll also be nice to see what my house actually looks like during the day.

At the same time, it's beyond me why you'd think it a good idea to set clocks ahead on Sunday morning, forcing me to lose a precious hour of my weekend time (though setting the clocks back during the weekends makes perfect sense). I mean, for people who claim to want to be re-elected you certainly don't think things through.

Fortunately, I've come up with a solution which, like most things in life, is painfully obvious once you see it. You need to get to work and pass a law requiring daylight savings take effect at 4 p.m. on a Friday?

And none of that funny stuff in which you add riders allocating $14 million to a pig farm in Mississippi or $2.8 billion to study the migratory habits of the Pittsburgh Penguin, only to learn later that it's a hockey team.

Don't worry, there's no charge for the advice. But it you want more, I'll need a few million dollars tossed my way. Just add it as a rider to whatever bill you pass next and nobody will notice it.


Your Friend,


Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Hot Sauce Haiku

Oh sweet Tabasco
The way you burn baby burn
Disco Inferno

Monday, March 02, 2009

Snow Tired

I woke up this morning to 12 inches and...that's what she said!

But seriously. It snowed like hell out here today.

My back is killing me from shoveling out my driveway. And then I walked into the house at 5:30 a.m. to a call from the President of the region during which we decided that we were going to close the suburban offices (one of which is 5 minutes from my house) but keep the New York City offices open - which meant I had to come to work instead of going back to bed.

Insert sympathy here...

So, in summary, carrying around 12 inches is hell on one's back.

And the snow didn't help either.