Friday, April 24, 2009

Week in Pictures: The Return Edition

Random Friday Thoughts:

Softball season starts on Sunday. First double header should be over by 10:30. First beer should be popped by 10:31.


It's been so long that I'm not really sure that I remember how to do this WiP thing, but here goes:

After was Maddona was singled out by PETA for wearing a fur blouse, it was revealed that the blouse was not animal fur, but was made of 100% Muppet, prompting a second wave of protests from PETM.

Speaking of Muppets, our "where are they now" item focuses on Elmo. The adorable infant is all grown up now and training for the space program and NASA.

Groundhog Day took an unexpected twist for Punxsutawney Phil when his handler gave him an impromptu prostate exam.

A toad seeking to break the amphibian push up record fell short when he was tragically struck by a hit-and-run driver.

Here you go Grant.

A woman frustrated by her husband's repeated claims that he lost track of time erected this sculpture in his favorite pub. Sadly, she seems to have neglected to synchronize them.

This just in...the amphibian police just moved in and arrested the man they believe was behind the hit-and-run accident that we told you about moments ago.

An overexcited father-to-be was fired at his job for bringing in his wife's egg to show that he had, indeed, fertilized it.

I really should take up golf this summer.

Researchers have uncovered compelling evidence that a bird in the hand is, in fact, worth more than two in the bush largely because the ones in the bush cost a fortune to feed.

Meanwhile, Greek scientists are conducting a study to determine if there is use in crying over spilled milk.

A recent spike in alcoholism among deer is being attributed to the stress brought on by hunting season.

And finally, drug testing in babies may become more prevalent now that they've found a way to get them to pee in a cup.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Blogs Away!

Hey kids! Sorry, for being away for so long. I know i said that I'd be right back, but I meant it in the way my Dad did when he had to "use the restroom" at whatever bar we were in danger of driving by. He'd invariably come back out an hour or two later reeking of alcohol and complaining about the long lines at the men's room.

But I digress. Turns out that I misplaced my blog url and it took me FOREVER to find it. You know how these things go. I mean, at my age the only thing shorter than my memory span is the length of time between trips to the men's room.

Yeah...prostate jokes never go over big, do they?

Anywho...I've been thinking about this whole blog thing lately. I mean, 132 posts in 2007? Where the hell did I find the time to that much? I suppose that was before they promoted me and expected me to do work. Erm...and before Facebook.

So here's the deal. I'm not giving up blogging completely. On the odd day that something funny happens, I'll post something. Also, after receiving a few requests from folks, I'll reinstate the old Week in Pictures thing, which I'll try to run every Friday.

Sound fair?

So what does that picture in the corner have to do with the post? Absolutely nothing. Got your attention, though, didn't it?

Friday, April 03, 2009

Conspicuous Consumption

Woot is selling a Dyson DC25 Upright Ball Vacuum for $279.99 (plus $5 shipping) which seems to be a riduculous price for a luxury item like that. I mean, how often do I really need to vacuum my balls?